- Only Accepts Calls From Mel Gibson
- You Check Your Email & It Shocks Your Nuts
- There's No Lather When Washing Your Cornea (Oh, I'm Sorry, That's A Sign You've Purchased A Bad Eye Foam)
- Looks, Smells & Tastes Like A Pop-Tart
- "Apple Store" Looks Suspiciously Like Some Dude's Trunk
- You Keep Getting Anonymous Texts Reading, "iPhone Kill You"
- Pre-Loaded With Naked Photos Of Steve Jobs
- Operates on 20 "D" Batteries
- Automatically Answers Every Call With A Computerized, "Yello!"
- To Make A Call, You Have To Insert A Quarter
Source:ozcarguide.com